From the Desk of Dr. Sheldon Cooper

This is a series of cards from Sheldon that present the lucky recipient with a bit of advice, witty anecdote or bazinga. Collect them all!

I'm sorry, coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.

For what it's worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry.

You know me to be a very smart man. Dont you think that if I were wrong, Id know it?

I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. And also its really scary.

Im not insane, my mother had me tested!

Thats no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and it makes me sad.

You keep in mind that my sharply worded comments on Yelp.com recently took down a muffin store.

Cant we just go to Big Boy? The only have one burger: The Big Boy.

Remember people: Were only as strong as our weakest bladder.

Youre sitting in my spot.